Who Said What

Road Rules: Who Said What:

Program One and Two: T and A and 1 and 2

"If I had big boobs I'd be unstoppable!" Anne
"It feels like we're playing $20,000 PYRAMID!"Tara -- during the golf mission
"The worst thing that could happen is you get a rash." Noah -- convincing Jon to go poo-poo in the woods
"No, the worst that can happen is I get sh*t all over myself!" Jon -- to Noah
"I would rather crap on myself than have a rash." Dan -- to Jon
"I don't know if I can survive with you all for the next nine weeks -- you all some nasty people." Roni – listening to the boyz

Program Three: HEAR NO EVIL, SEE NO EVIL, SMELL NO EVIL
"When women complain, don't talk - just let them ramble." Noah -- to Jon
"I'm practicing my pole dance for when I become a stripper." Dan explaining his exercise regime to Noah
"He looked cute in the hot tub!" Tara -- to Anne, commenting on Dan
"Seattle makes me break out." Anne -- checking a zit in the mirror
"Your food stinks!" Jon -- yelling at Roni
"Breathe through your mouth!" Roni -- yelling at Jon

Program Four: BREAKING IN and BREAKING OUT
"I would rather be gay than never have sexual contact again."Jon -- to Anne
"Mom, it's not a mission!" Noah -- on the telephone, telling his family about the Winnie break-in
"I left New York for this sh*t?!"Roni -- reacting to the Winnie break-in
"Be careful of my beautiful neck." Anne -- just before Roni performs the drop-pin wrestling maneuver
"I like daquiris, but I feel like a girl when I drink them" Dan -- to Tara
"I feel like a girl when I drink them, too." Tara -- to Dan

Program Five: ROADIES ON PATROL
"If you get sh*t all over your hands, you know you're doing something right." -- Dan showing Anne how to empty the Winnie's toilet tank
"This is like driving around carrying a cup of pee next to you!" -- Anne watching Dan empty the Winnie's toilet tank
"What's that smell?" -- Roni to Dan and Anne
"I'd rather kiss Noah than eat a gallon of ca-ca." -- Jon
"I'd rather kiss Roni than Noah." -- Tara
"I only know how to be an ass, I don't know how to be a good law enforcer." -- Noah preparing to train with the RCMP

Program Six: Roadies On The Range
"I don't like people to rub lotion on my back - it feels like someone is licking me!" -- Jon to Anne
"I'm going to get my horse, and then your asses ain't going nowhere!" -- Roni to the herd of cows
"Dan, if we're going to be making out later, I really prefer you don't smoke." -- Tara to Dan
"Do you use clippers or a razor?" -- Anne asking Dan what he uses to trim his pubic hair
"Would you rather sleep with Luke Skywalker or Han Solo?" -- Dan to girls
"Would you rather sleep with R2D2 or C3PO?" -- Noah to girls

Program Seven: Go Dan!!!
"If Dan's family were a TV family they'd probably be the Cleavers." -- Tara
"Dan's house is like a cross between Norman Rockwell and the Playboy Mansion." -- Jon
"I have no worries about Noah hitting on Rachel - that's fine with me." -- Dan
"You're a city girl and this is a pole - why are you up here?" -- Roni talking to herself during the lumberjack speed climb
"I'm worried I'm going go home as this insane dresser wearing tube socks and Porn t-shirts." -- Anne questioning the subtle changes in her fashion sense
"This is the dump, right here." -- Noah as he steers the Winnie into the RV park

Program Eight: ATHLETE'S FOOT or: WASH THAT BEFORE I KISS IT
"I don't think I use my looks, I just think I'm a charmer." -- Noah
"Her game does not need any help." -- Roni when asked if Anne is a successful flirt
"I'll go jogging and I'll come home and the groin'll just be throbbing – throbbing groin!" -- Dan explaining his old hockey injury
"It's like breathing sweetness." -- Tara commenting on the clean, Midwest air
"Sometimes I have spells of thinking about Kalle." -- Jon admitting his attraction to a previous cast member
"I'm most calm when I sleep." -- Anne's introspection

Program Nine: AFRAID TO LOVE or: DON'T PIG OUT
"If Tara thinks that I'm the 'no conflict' guy, I would agree with that." -- Dan avoiding conflict
"I don't think I'm like a valley girl at all, you know?" -- Tara
"I'm a competitive person underneath all this niceness." -- Roni
"Most livestock haven't been trained for espionage." -- Jon explaining the challenges involved with hiding the pigs
"He doesn't have to eat them, he just has to touch them!" -- Anne when angered by Noah's refusal to help care for the pigs
"We're having pork chops for dinner!" - Noah

Program Ten: BLOOD AND GUTS
"Dr. Tim does the first wrap, which immobilizes it, and then I do the foo foo wraps on top of it." -- Anne explaining the teamwork involved in casting a broken arm
"I haven't had the experience of seeing brains before." -- Dan gazing at an open skull
"I'm definitely not buying a motorcycle when I get home." -- Noah, after witnessing accident victims in the ER
"I looked into this guy's chest and saw his heart beating." -- Tara
"I've never died before." -- Roni, when asked 'What happens when you die?'
"The question 'am I going to die?' is not an unusual thing around here." -- Jon

Program Eleven : FRED ASTAIRE YOU AIN'T or: TRIPPING THROUGH THE LIGHT FANTASTIC
"Any time you have tassels on an outfit, that's good." -- Dan admiring his go-go uniform
"None of this will cover my butt!" -- Anne examining the go-go costumes
"I jitter and shake and act a little zombie-esque." -- Jon explaining his dance moves
"Nine inches." -- Noah, when asked 'How deep are you getting with Natasha?'
"Certain people are getting annoying!" -- Roni, eight weeks into the trip
"I would never let anyone I care about go out with Noah." -- Tara

Program Twelve : RAT POISON or: NO HOLIDAY ON ICE
"When you start going home with girls, and kissing them on the dance floor, and getting hickeys on your neck and not knowing which one gave you which, that's a little ridiculous." -- Roni on Noah's infidelities
"It's no secret - just watch Swingers once or twice and you can do it." -- Noah, when asked his secret for attracting women
"I kind of shy away from hormonal relationships." -- Jon
"As soon as we got in the Winnebago, one of the rink rats asked 'where are your bras,' and my mouth just dropped open!" -- Anne on the hockey kids
"They're beating up on me, kicking me in the face, throwing plastic balls at me - it's a lot of fun." -- Dan on the hockey kids
"Noah wants to be like Puck, but he can't - he's a good guy." - Tara

Program Thirteen: PICTURE IMPERFECT
"She was an only child before, but now she's in a family with six children!" -- Anne on Roni
"I miss this city!" -- Roni walking the streets of Harlem
"She's so tough!" -- Tara on Roni
"Now she's eating pizza off the floor!" -- Dan explaining how Anne has loosened up about what she will and will not eat
"I don't get intimidated at all by anybody or by anything." -- Noah
"I feel like the Bionic Man when I wear that helmet!" -- Jon on his new hockey mask

Program Fourteen and Fifteen: ICE CASTLES

While toasting each other with champagne at the top of a mountain, the Roadies reflected on what the Road Rules experience has given to them... CHEERS!
"I didn't think I could kick ass, but now I know I can!" -- Jon
"I'm not as much of a wuss as I thought I was!" -- Anne
"I'll have better relationships because of this trip." -- Dan
"I've learned to live for today and not for tomorrow." -- Noah
"From now on, I'm stepping out and stepping up to challenges!" -- Roni
"If you come away from this trip feeling OK with the person you are, you've come a long way." -- Tara

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